In the chapter entitled "Weary in Well Doing," Martyn Lloyd-Jones points to a few reasons why Christians may become weary in their Christan lives. It is this weariness that contributes to a feeling of spiritual depression. In circumstances where we feel weary in our Christian lives, Lloyd-Jones suggests we first examine ourselves to see if we can determine why we are feeling weary. Part of this self-examination involves checkout our motives for service. If we have the wrong motive, it will be no surprise when we do become weary in well-doing.
I must ask myself why I have been doing this work and what has really been my motive. I have been active and I have enjoyed doing the work, but now I find it has become a burden. And now comes this question. Why have I really been doing it the whole time? It is a terrible question that, because it may be the first times we have ever asked it. We have taken all for granted and assumed that our motive was pure. But we find that it was not. Some people work for the sake of the thrill and the excitement. There is no question about it at all. I have seen people very actively engaged in Christian work because there was a certain amount of excitement in it. Here are some people who are not happy unless they are doing something, and they do not always realize that what they are out for is the thrill and the excitement of the activity. As certainly as we live in that way we will get exhausted, we will become tired, and equally certainly our greatest enemy will come in, and that is self. We have really been doing all that we have been doing, to say to ourselves: 'How wonderful you are and how much you do.' Self says that we are important. We have to admit that it has not all been for the glory of God, but for our own glory. We may say that we do not want the praise and that 'to God be the glory,' but we like to see results and we like it to appear in the papers and so on - self has come in and self is a terrible master. If we are working to satisfy and please self in any shape or form, the end is always going to be weariness and tiredness. How important it is to ask ourselves the motive in connection with the work!
I have to say that I am someone who likes to keep busy. There was a time when I was juggling far more in the Church than was good for my family or for me. It was for the thrill of feeling "competent" to accomplish a lot. Sometimes, when a woman stays at home full-time, we feel like we have to "justify" our existence by showing all those working mothers that we're not just wasting our time. How God-honouring is that? It wasn't.
I'm sure that I will always need to check my motives.