Female contradictions
Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 09:45AM I'm sure my husband would say that women define the word contradiction. Perhaps Hamlet ought to have uttered, "Contradiction, thy name is woman!"
This is another random post. I'm working on my Sunday school lesson and taking breaks here and there as I finish my notes. I was peeking around Twitterland and I noticed a woman sharing her excitement for a day of pampering with women at her church. They will be enjoying facials, hair-dos, massages, and manicures. Some women really like those things. Our ladies' committee had a ladies spa night that featured such things.
I don't particularly enjoy them.
My only vain indulgence is my hair. I do spend the money to have it trimmed and looking tidy every five weeks. But that's really it. I actually go out of the house and run errands without make-up on *gasp, choke*. What can I say? I live dangerously. I also have a wardrobe that consists mostly of jeans, t-shirts, plaid button up shirts, cardigans (I love Irish wool cardigans!) and hoodies. When I get really dolled up, I wear khaki pants.
Well, that's an exaggeration. I do own dresses and skirts, and when the occasion demands it, I do the trophy wife thing.
I have never had a manicure. I have never had a facial. I have never had a pedicure. I don't like people touching my feet, and if I want a massage, I'd rather have my husband do it. I don't desire these things, and to me, being "pampered" is having my husband bring home take-out for dinner. I guess I'm not very sophisticated.
Many women like these things, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them or with liking them. It is not my cup of tea, but it is for other women.
My cup of tea is something else. My ideal day away with the "girls" would be a nice comfy place to meet, perhaps around a roaring fire, rich, robust theology discussion, some sharing of our lives as women, some dark roast coffee, or maybe even a nice walk out on a trail, talking about the things of the Lord. My cup of tea is also sitting under the teaching of a (yes) male speaker. I'm so excited about being able to hear Dr. Carl Trueman speak in April. That's what gets my mojo going: learning from skilled speakers and pastors.
I realize that not every women likes what I like. I would hazard a guess that I am among the minority of women who prefer that to the spa scenario. Neither one is inherently wrong. What is wrong, though, is to make one a defining make of a truly godly woman. Now, a godly woman will seek the Lord through the Word, prayer, worship and service, but the women who go to spa events can do that quite nicely. Just because they prefer the spa to the library doesn't mean they're not growing, vibrant Christian women. What is frustrating is that even though I don't like those things, if I avoid them, I'm out of the loop. There is something quirky and odd with me. Another thing that is frustrating is that most of the women's events out there include such things.
You know what? I'm not a huge chocolate eater. I'm not much an eater, period. I enjoy eating, and I enjoy good food, but I don't live to eat. In fact, as I get older and want to stay healthy, I need to control what I eat. These women's events where we stuff huge amounts of carbs down our throats are not all that healthy. Last fall, I had to moderate a panel discussion at a ladies' event and the breakfast beforehand was so sweet and sugary that when I got up to speak, I started having dizzy spells because I hadn't eaten enough protein yet. The stereotype that I must eat chocolate and have a massage to be a godly woman just doesn't fit.
Women's ministries has become increasingly about pampering women, and I don't know as if I think I need pampering. I have a warm home, food to eat, a husband who comes home every night, and three healthy children. Why do I need pamepring? I would like to see women's ministries be more proactive in helping women who don't have those things, or proactive in teaching women the Word, because as I teach regularly, it is immediately obvious to me that many women who have even grown up in the church lack a basic understanding of the Scriptures.
For all those women out there who love the spa, chocolate, and pedicures, I am truly okay with that. But just as I wouldn't force you to read Berkhof while you have your nails done, please don't assume that I am missing estrogen in my system because I don't want a stranger touching my feet. Women can be both of these things; the one who likes to feel pretty and feminine, and the one who likes to dig deep. That's who I want to be.
All Random All the Time
Reader Comments (9)
As a wise man (or wiseguy, if you prefer) once said, "There's a reason women are called the opposite sex."
We have also been called the "fairer sex."
Weird. The ladies in my church are doing exactly the same thing this morning. Except they are setting aside places for those who want to read or finish projects like knitting or embroidery.
I'm not going, in case you were wondering. :)
Now for me, a spa day with chocolate and pedicures while reading Berkhof would be pretty excellent. ;)
Well, Staci, I would sit beside you and maybe have my nails done, just for the fellowship, but no one touches my feet but me until such time as I can no longer manage on my own.
I'd be happy for some carbs at a women's event. Living in California means I pay $20 to attend a women's event at church and I get served a salad. LOL.
And I'm with you about the whole feet thing. No touching the feet!
The whole "pampering thing" is so foreign to me, but it seems pretty commonplace with most women. I realize I'm an oddball. I'd much rather be part of the group enjoying a roaring fire, robust conversation and mugs of great coffee.
I'm another oddball too. I'd rather use the money for books instead of paying someone to varnish my fingers and toes.
Your idea of a "girls getaway" sounds perfectly divine to me.