When reading becomes an issue of discontent
Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 08:42AM Recently, I signed up with Goodreads. It's a great way to keep track of what books I would like to read. It's a social networking site, too, so I imagine it's a fun way to interact with other readers. I am afraid I don't use it to its full potential. I'm just not in the habit of sigining in. I do get updates to what my friends read and am able to see their reviews. I also have very few friends on Goodreads, simply because I can't juggle that many friends lists.
One thing I see is what my friends read. I'm always a little amazed at how fast others read and how much the volume that they read. I am not a fast reader, and I don't finish nearly as many books as others do. I've noticed lately that when I see how fast others read, I think, "Why can't I read that fast?" I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I simply have not finished a lot of books lately. I do read every day, though.
It continues to amaze and discourage me how easily I begin to compare myself. I know in my head it's wrong, and daily, I pray for God to give me contentment, but yet that comparison monster shows up. It's so annoying. I will be so glad one day when I shed this mortality and can stop thinking like that. It really is astounding how every little thing can become a point of comparison if we let it.
So, I'm not a speedreader. I don't need to make excuses for my slow progress. Sometimes, we have this idea that we have to perform even when in our heads, we know we don't. The internet has lots of great value, but it's one way to foster doubt, comparison, and discontent. I need to remember that my life is about living before an audience of One. God cares that I know His Word, and I'm sure He is pleased when I learn more about Him through other books. But I'm pretty sure He doesn't care if I only finish one or two books over the summer. I need to be less worried about what others are doing and more concerned about living in simple obedience.
It's been a while since I read the Envy of Eve, which talks so much about comparison. Clearly, I need to go back to my reading journal and re-visit the salient points.
Reading
Reader Comments (9)
I'm not a fast reader, either. Like you, I wonder how others do it. But I have to remember how my days are spent. It's rare that I get in more than 30 minutes of reading a day. I've found that reading so much about what others are reading also causes me to buy too many books. A friend commented on the size of my library this week, and I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I haven't read 90% of the books on my shelves yet!
Oh, Melissa, I know what you mean about buying more books! I am actually making a concerted effort not to buy one book for the next six months at least; ultimately, I'd like to wait an entire year.
Hey Kim, I'm a slow reader as well, and don't really mind it. I think it's the quality of what you read that matters and not the quantity. Also, you are right that the book ' envy of eve' needs to be revisited. In fact I have read it almost 2 times now, although its been just 2 months since I bought it. Remember what is mentioned at the end of the book? Learning to be content and put any envious thought to death is a everyday battle. It's easier said than done I know. But we have the Holy spirit to help us in this battle, we are not alone!
Shreeja, yes, it is a daily battle. I think sometimes, we need to distance ourselves from things that can cause us to compare ourselves until we've reached a point where it is not such an issue with us.
Yes Kim,we need to keep ourselves away from things that cause discontentment or distract us from what really matters and it is specific to each person. I know the things that cause discontentment to me, as in things that i compare myself to others and I actively fight against it, I hope I can do it all the time. Gracious god gives us the discernment to identify our sin in the heart the moment it crops up and also gives us victory over it. Another thing I would like to tell is that we cannot always keep the things away, because it may not be under our control . In such scenarios, we need to very actively pursue holiness, again God is our only hope and help.
:)
It frustrates me that I retain so little of what I read. I'm a slow reader, too, but I don't really mind that. If I could just remember what I've read it could have deeper impact. And trying to memorize Scripture is really tough for this old lady!
Rosemary, I have a lot of trouble memorizing Scripture, too. I often get the references mixed up. I find that I have to spend a lot longer with a book in order for it to really stay with me.
Excellent thoughts, Kim. How quick we are to compare ourselves with others in almost everything. I sometimes express this wonder out loud, "How do they read so many books so quickly?" and even my Ink will remind me, "Mom, you can't compare yourself to other women who are able to read a lot more." Those are wise words coming from someone who lives with me and actually SEES why I don't get so many books read.
Looking forward to reading the Envy of Eve, by the way, and I'm always thankful for book recommendations from you and other women who love the LORD.
I used to be a fast reader but my concentration is not as good because of Internet use. I also don't have as much time to read. But I need to remind myself that the Word is the most important even if all the other books get set aside. Plus my standing before God isn't based on how many books I can check off.
Having not read the Envy of Eve, I wonder if competitiveness has an affect on our envy of one another?