Please help me; my middle aged brain doesn't understand
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 01:30PM This is a wee rant.
Pardon me; I have a headache, so that may account for my grumpy mood.
Strange conundrum:
If I was to apply a standard of biblical womanhood that includes marriage, children, family, working at home, working a bit outside the home, being submissive to my husband, accepting authority with relationships, and pursuing a quiet spirit, I am forcing other women into a mold that I ought not to. I am told (quite correctly, I might add) that there is not one model of biblical womanhood, and I ought to stop being such a mean old lady.
But...
If I decide that biblical womanhood is about being the warrior, challenging the existence of male and female roles, and donning my sword, I'm empowering women. It's not forcing women into a mold; it's doing them a favour. There really isn't one model of biblical womanhood.... except this one, of course.
I don't get it. My fluctuating estrogen levels are interfering with sound thinking, I'm afraid.
Now, I have a dirty kitchen to attack. Where's my sword?
Reader Comments (9)
Hah! Good sword wielding in this post. :)
Kim, I love you! Keep speaking the truth™
haha!! --- I think women think too much. Attacking dirty kitchens is much more relaxing.
Not to add to the conundrum or the headache, but isn't there just one model of biblical womanhood - found in Proverbs 31? I agree that the application might be different for everyone, but the model is the same, isn't it?
Sorry if I'm cantankerous. I've been dealing with a summer cold for days now and I'm at my wits end with it!
Melissa, I don't know as if I could say that Proverbs 31 is the only model. There are many other places where godly behaviour is modelled that applies to women but is not specifically for women. I don't know enough about how chapter 31 fits in with the entire book of Proverbs to say.
I don't think most who emphasize the "warrior" side to femininity are insinuating it is the only right role ("except this one of course") nor are they condemning the women you describe in your first paragraph. They are just trying to bring balance. I see so much variety in the Scriptures, and people who did not nicely fit in roles. I think of Jeremiah,who was a male prophet that seemed to cry a lot and was rather emotional. Not very masculine. Or Deborah, a female who was a bold prophet, judge, and warrior. All that leading of Israel must have taken time away from her wife and mother duties. Yet she seemed God's woman for that time.
People who have always nicely fit into "traditional" roles often don't quite understand what it is like to be different. It can be an isolating place. And I appreciate those who don't so strictly try to force people into roles. It is painful to be forced into something you are not, and have to live a pretend life.
I am a woman who has never fit the traditional role in multiple ways. I'm not a mother (infertility) yet I have always been very content without kids and have no desire to adopt. At all. I'm also just not very "motherly". I'm also more academic and analytical/rational, and not very emotional/relational. I've appreciated the balance that the "warrior" (as you word it) emphasis has brought, as it has made me feel like there is a place for me. I relate so much to people in the Scriptures who did not nicely "fit in the box" because I don't fit in the box either.
Yet, I highly respect women who are more traditional wives and moms! (So do most other people I know who are more on the "warrior" side.) We'd just like some respect too. There is room for variety in the Body of Christ.
I also genuinely think that there are women with gifts, skills and talents that they don't realize they have, because they have never been encouraged to try or given a chance. This hinders the work of the Kingdom! Talents have been buried. They have been limited to a tiny box. If that box is their place, wonderful! But women need to be given a broader vision/opportunity.
I just feel a burden for those who have been driven away from the faith and church because of the strictly defined roles and characteristics that some Christians (not referring to you but speaking generally) seem insistent on “enforcing”. How many “Jeremiahs” and “Deborahs” have we driven away that could be having a powerful influence for the kingdom of God?
Thanks for listening. I went off on a tangent but wanted to share.
LLM, I really don't feel like I fit into any role, and I know I am not alone. I'm so thankful, though, that I have a place with Christ, through His grace, no matter if I feel like I fit or not! Thanks for your input!
Thinking about other Scriptures that give models of Godly behavior, can most of them be found in Proverbs 31? Like you, I don't know enough about it to say.
Do we tend to confuse culture's idea of "traditional" womanhood with biblical womanhood? I think we do. After all, the Prov. 31 model didn't call for a woman to spend all day at home. The author paints a picture of a savvy businesswoman whose first priority is her home & family. (It's my understanding that this Scripture is a father telling his son what to look for in a wife, not a woman who actually existed.)
I do think we need to be very careful about demolishing gender roles. The world has been doing that for years, and Christians shouldn't jump on that bandwagon.
Again...I think we need to look at whether we're opposing culture's idea of traditional roles versus God's idea. I'm not sure He wants to put anyone in a box, but He does have defined roles for us to fill.
I guess what I was saying, Melissa, when I said "one model of biblical womanhood", I met one set of behaviors that make a woman a "biblical" woman. I agree that there is one model of godly womanhood, depicted through Scripture, and many applications. I'm pretty sure we're saying the same things. And I love the Piper quote!