Can we just let people make spirit-led decisions?
Friday, September 14, 2012 at 07:55AM If I was to say to a young woman with small children, "You should be a stay at home mother." I would be soundly trounced. I have no right to dictate such a thing to another woman.
If I was to say to a woman who decided to stay home full-time, "Get busy, girl, get a job!" I would face similar condemnation.
Those personal family issues are none of my business.
It isn't always so with educational decisions. We are apparently free to condemn people for either choosing to homeschool or not. On both sides of the argument, we get dire warnings about how our daughters are going to grow up wearing denim jumpers and having "too many" children (what is "too many," anyway? Another "not my business"), and be social misfits. We hear dire warnings on the other side that our chidlren who attend public school will end up tattooed, with multiple face piercings, and in and out of jail.
My kids were in the home and out of the home for their education. They express to me things they liked about being at home (all of them say the academic value was better), and things that they didn't like about being at high school (my son said the kids were rude). My daughter, who loved the freedom to learn what she wanted at home, also liked having teachers other than me, because learning from a variety of teaching styles is helplful. Am I angry because of that? No. I am thankful she continues to love learning.
Parenting can be scary. We all want to do the right thing. No one wants to confront a rebellious child or feel like they've ruined a child. The fact is, though, that every family has dysfunction. We're dysunctional people. We sin, we mess up, and we have "issues." That's why we need grace for parenting. We need grace with our kids and grace for others. So, instead of always finding a way to tell a parent why he or she is doing it all wrong, look for ways to encourage him or her. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be kind.
I have been at times, too strident in my views about homeschooling, and too strident about public school. That is an error I wish I could forget. Grown up Christian men and women are able and equipped to make Spirit-led decisions regarding their children. Let's just let them make them without trying to scare them into thinking like we do.
Reader Comments (2)
As a mother who has always worked full-time outside of the home & had my child in public schools, THANK YOU.
Amen! I think the key is realizing our decisions should be Spirit-led instead of fear-driven. Many moms spend so much time trying to convince themselves that they are not "ruining" their kids, that they view a family who has come to a different choice as a threat to the validity of their choices. Too much fear. Choose what is best for you family with the guidance of the Spirit and then stop being so afraid of the results.