My husband is not a complicated man. That is not to say that I have found it easy to understand him at times, or that in some ways, he remains a mystery to me. I'm okay with mystery. His advice, though, is often very simple, and to an over-analytical woman like me, his advice occasionally has sounded a little too simple. Certainly, I have thought, we must discuss it more; we must understand it more; we must find other ways to look at it. In reality, more often than not, it's been much less complicated than that.
I remember an occasion many years ago when we had a conflict about something and I was quite upset over the whole matter, mostly at our inability to find consensus. Being the over reactor I am, I concluded that we must need professional help. In today's lingo that means buy one of the many in the glut of marriage books out there. We don't seek help from people now; we look to the celebrity pastor for advice.
My husband's answer? We just need to forgive each other, and love each other as we would love ourselves, consider the other more esteemed, and obey Christ in our marriage.
Can it be that simple? Isn't there more? Don't we need some kind of analysis from an expert to point out every jot and tittle of weakness? The "something more" needed is to just do it. To obey. No, it isn't easy. It means swallowing my pride. That's often a big bite to swallow.
When I look back, I think I expended a lot of energy not taking the more simple approach. Maybe he was on to something. Maybe I should have spent more time reading this:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself bybecoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.(Phil 2:3-9)