I had an idea of something that would make a good blog post. I believe it would be helpful to someone. But even as I logged in during a study break, I hesitated. I was glad I did. I've been writing more in paper these days, and as I jotted down a few thoughts, I changed my mind. In being too transparent, there is a risk.
When we are transparent with others, regardless of the venue, it is an offering. We open up ourselves, knowing that there is the potential for rejection; ridicule; shame; judgment. Even when we are "anonymous" via the internet, the risk is the same. The difference is that we don't see the reactions of others. Anyone who thinks that the risk is less when online isn't thinking through the matter.
In the past couple of years, there have been bloggers whom I think have said too much. I recognize it because in the past, I have been guilty of that myself. Not everything needs to be said. There are things I said as a mom of teens which I see now as a mom of adults I shouldn't have said online, despite the facade of anonymity. When a blogger who hasn't been married all that long says something too personal about the marriage (despite getting "permission" from the spouse), I feel embarrassed for that person. The only kind of things my husband and I reveal about one another to others are the things which are not all that serious; the silly things we tease each other about. I would never go into any detail about my husband's emotional situation or anything serious about our marriage. It's off limits, and rightly so.
Unfortunately, I haven't always been wise. There are things I have written which, now that my blog is all but dead, make me feel the same way I do when someone comes to the door and I'm still in my pajamas. Yesterday, as I contemplated that post, and rejected the notion, I wondered, "Does this mean I'm all grown up now?" I doubt it, but I think I'm on my way. My post can stay safely contained in paper and maybe some day, I'll share it. But not today.