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« Dang, I missed it! | Main | Daily Readings - John 12:27-33 »
Tuesday
Jun132017

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls

Sometimes, my husband acts like a big kid. When my boys are around, or perhaps when he's biking with his buddies, he will occasionally forget to assess the risk before doing something. These are not frequent occasions. Some day, his tendency to let his little child rear its head will mean he's a good grandpa. That said, there are times when despite being adults, we don't behave in a mature way.

The Struggle to Grow Up

The purpose of this post is not to recount the struggle for men to grow up. Delayed adolescence is something we're all aware of. And it's not just confined to men. In all honesty, I get frustrated when women imply that men never grow up but we do. We may roll our eyes at men for behaving like boys, but having two sons and a husband, I can assure you, men roll their eyes at the way women demonstrate their lack of maturity. 

Young girls are often petty, cliqueish, competitive, and catty. They hold grudges with one another. They get offended easily. They gossip. They envy. Of course, there are exceptions, but these are things I'm sure many of us remember as part of life as a teenage girl. Do these vices magically disappear from us when we hit 18? Are these habits completely absent in women over 30? Check out a Twitter or Facebook thread where complementarianism and egalitarianism are being debated and you will have your answer.

I say all that to say this: emotional maturity is something that will either hinder or help us in our pursuit of personal holiness. If we feel like we're not making any progress in our sanctification, instead of wondering if God is really working in our lives, perhaps our first line of inquity ought to be our own emotional maturity. 

Spiritual Maturity Needs Emotional Maturity

In J.I. Packer's book, Rediscovering Holiness, there is an an excellent chapter which deals with practical ways to pursue holiness. He ends the chapter with a section called "Avoiding the Peter Pan Syndrome." We struggle to mature in our present culture. Packer says:

It has been truly said that the greatest social problem of the modern world is extreme emotional immaturity masquerading as an adult lifestyle . . . Affluence allows childish self-indulgence to become a lifestyle from one's teens onward, and the results in later life are painful.

Of course, we as Christians are shaped by our culture. We may think we're not, but if we really look closely at ourselves, we can't really deny it. If we want to be spiritually mature, we have to be emotionally mature. Spiritual maturity requires willgness to put aside our own wishes. It means doing things we don't want to do. It means self-denial. It means loving others and living the fruit of the Spirit. And it means facing the ways in which we are still immature. Packer says:

Maxims and disciplines of devotion cannot help us if we are not prepared to be changed at this point. Am I willing to learn whether I need to grow up emotionally? Are you?

Christians Need to be Mature

One way we as Christians can live counter culturally is to be mature men and women. One does not want to be legalistic in this, but there are many obvious ways in which people display maturity: taking responsibility for one's actions; being teachable; owning our sin; making amends when we've wronged others; controlling our tongue; putting aside childish things. These are only a few things which are basic evidences of maturity that if absent, may make it difficult to grow spiritually.

There is nothing wrong with remaining young at heart, but at the same time, there is nothing wrong with acting our age and not going into older age kicking and screaming. Growing up is part of our design as humans. I'm not 25 years old any more, and that ought to be reflected in my conduct emotionally. I am no longer a baby Christian, and that ought to be apparent as well.

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