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« Oh God, You Are My God | Main | Conviction, attitude, and strategy »

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

A few weeks ago, it occurred to me that there are no little circles in the Christian blog world where I feel like I fit in.

There are groups of women who promote very traditional views of marriage and family. I agree with much of what they believe. I totally support a woman's decision to remain at home with her children if she is able, to homeschool her kids, and to be unashamed because she finds joy in domestic things. That describes me. But eventually, there comes a point where we begin to reveal substantial differences.

There are groups of women who believe in equality within the body of Christ between men and women. They see no disparity between the intellect of a woman and a man. They challenge traditional views. I totally relate to that. I'm a seminary student. I fully support Christian women participating in dialogue with regard to spiritual issues. I would love to see more women engaging in theology proper, not just applied theology or cultural critique. I have no problem agreeing with the freedom of a woman to work outside the home if she desires to. But again, there comes a point when I cannot endorse everything. In some cases, I feel compelled to distance myself from certain places.

So, am I without an online country? 

As quickly as that question comes into my thoughts, reason prevails, and the answer comes: why does it matter? I, like many others, have become so accustomed to making online life a part of my every day habits, that it feels wrong to if I'm not fully engaged in it. It reminds me of being in high school, where I felt the need to find a group to align myself with so I don't get left out. High school is over, and although life online periodically bears a creepy resemblance, I am past that. 

In short, why do I care if I don't fit in with a little group? I need to remind myself to grow up and live the life God has given me. And if I don't fit in with any particular group, what does it matter? The effort in trying to "fit in" can be detrimental to my spiritual growth; just as it was detrimental to my intellectual and social growth in high school. Sometimes, I just want to shake myself, because I've learned the pitfall of the need to "fit in." I ought to have learned from my mistakes.

Ultimately, no matter how wide or influential our online connections are, we stand before God on our own, in Christ. Having X amount of online connections or Twitter followers won't make a difference to God. But am I faithful? That's a better question to ask.

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