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« I Will Sing of My Redeemer | Main | That old lesson: "Write what you know." »
Saturday
Jun092018

Why are we mean girls?

I find it discouraging that as adult women we often behave no differently than when we did as teenage girls. We give each other the cold shoulder when we're angry rather than talking about it; we gather in groups and ostracize others who don't fit into our mold, or reprimand them with our rejection when they say something we don't like; we judge each other over petty matters. I don't know why I am surprised by this, considering our nature, but when it happens among Christian women and on social media no less, it does surprise me. It happened to me recently. It's like 1978 all over again. 

Why are women catty? Why are we competitive, judgmental, and petty? Why are we threatened by someone who does not think exactly like we do? And how can I become one of those women who never give these matters a second thought? I admire those women.

What it is about women, in our very natures, which contributes to this kind of thing? We can find a whole host of explanations, but I think we have to go back to the beginning; back to the garden, and Eve. When she confronted the serpent (Gen. 2:1-5), she was challenged by his words. When she (incorrectly) told him that she could not eat from the tree in the middle of the garden because they would surely die, the serpent said, "No, you won't." And then he told her she was being deprived of something: being like God.

Human beings have the capacity to do many things. Yet we are not like God no matter how much we accomplish. But it's okay to not be like God, because he gives us everything we need. Is that at the heart of our tendency to be unkind to one another? We perceive that someone else is getting what we think we deserve?

I have two Beagles; Luna is six and Bear is almost two years old. Bear is fairly obnoxious; and jealous. If I sit down with Luna and show her affection, even if he is preoccupied with something else at the moment, he will leave his activity and stick his face in my time with Luna. If my husband sits with me and tries to keep Bear's attention away from me cuddling with Luna, he will not be content that I am taking attention from him.  Is that at the heart of our woes with female relationships? That we feel we deserve more?

I don't claim to have any answers, and in reality, I want not to care about these matters. My husband is right when he says I don't need to let other people live in my head. It's a distraction. I am beginning to wonder if the only way to disconnect myself from this is to avoid social media altogether.

In the meantime, I will remember that the Lord gives me everything I need. What matters more for eternity? I am reminded that God gives me everything I need:

The Lord sustains all who fall
And raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
And you give them their food in due time.
You open your hand
Satisfy every living thing. (Ps. 145:14-16)

May I find satisfaction in the Lord every day.

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