I love being a mother, but I don't need a greeting card company inspired holiday to make me feel good about that. In fact, while I love the times when I have been encouraged on Mother's Day, and I am more than happy to celebrate my mother, I don't like the public nature of it. The worst year was when I was made to stand, along with other women in my congregation, to be applauded for being a mother. I'm sure my embarrassment was nothing compared to the feelings of the women in the room who were struggling with motherhood. Mention the day if you have to, but public recognition we can all do without.
Mothers are not more virtuous than others simply by being mothers. In fact, there are a lot of really bad mothers, and sometimes, I feel like one of them.
So, as I get ready for the inundation of Mother's Day fodder, in the stores, on television (who on earth buys his wife a diamong ring from Jared for Mother's Day?) and on social media, this is my suggestion.
I think every mom should have her own private Mother's Day, a date that only she and her family know about. Even better? Only the kids know when it is, and they surprise their mother.
My "Mother's Day" has been celebrated by me already:
My daughter and I texted back and forth the other day about and author she really likes, and she is going to loan me his books. Unspontaneous gift that means a lot, and is the kind my daughter and I both love.
My son called me on the phone a while ago, excited about the prospect of a job this summer. Yesterday, he texted me to share his joy in having an interview scheduled. A call from a son who is phone/text phobic. Gift received. I win.
Yesterday, while sitting in physiotherapy, I received a text message from my youngest saying that he was taking photographs as part of his summer job. He knows his mama is a shutterbug and a preferrer of the Canon Rebel, which was the camera he was using. A son sharing his every day moment at an unexpected time. Gift received and appreciated.
This weekend, my older son cannot come for the weekend, but the other two are coming home. Even if no one was coming home, I have been given gifts already, and the ones that come out of the blue are the most precious.
Every mom should get her own private Mother's Day. Not knowing when it is means it might come at a time when we really need it most, and it will be less of a pressure thing done because "everyone" is doing it. A gift given because one must do it is not nearly as nice as one given because the giver wants to do it.