There are five women in my theology class, including me. While two others have children, I am the only one who is married.
Recently, we got on the topic of the kind of teaching material that is offered to women in typical church settings. We all agreed that we would rather prefer to study a book of the Bible rather than a topic, especially books that are focused only on marriage and motherhood.
Over the years, when I have taught young mothers, I have taught specifically about those things, largely because there were many in my audience to whom those issues were pertinent. But in talking to my single friends, I wonder how often there was a single or childless woman in my group who was wondering when I would get to something else. Was I insensitive to the differences among women?
In getting to know these single women I have been reminded of a couple of things:
Ultimately, my identity is in Christ. It is not in my marital status or my children. At our group blog, a couple of years ago, I wrote a post called "Can I Love My Child Too Much?" A lot of people didn't like it. I received some nasty mail over that one. I still stand by the principle, though: we can turn our family into idols. As I have got to know these single women and our conversation has focused on matters other than children and husbands, I have been reminded of where my ultimate identity is. It's something I'm learning daily.
My experience is not every woman's experience. It is natural for us to assume that others thing like we do, or experience life as we do. They don't. My life here in my comfy little corner of semi-rural Ontario, with a husband who has never laid a hand to me is nothing like the experience of the woman who struggles with an abusive husband while wondering how she will feed her kids. The gospel is sufficient to address every painful circumstance, but I have to be careful about thinking that the gospel includes replicating my circumstances. I think this also includes being sensitive to cultural differences. Trying to force a model of Christian womanhood that can only work in affluent North America may actually work against spreading the gospel.
Married women, do you have single friends? If you don't, find some! Part of the beauty of the Body of Christ is its diversity. If we only ever stick to nurturing relationships with women exactly like ourselves, we will miss a great deal.