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Entries in Conversion (2)

Monday
May262014

Blind

In Chapter 10, Section 2 of the Westminster Confession, the subject matter is the effectual calling of God:

This effectual call is God's free and special grace alone, not from anything foreseen in man, who is altogether passive therein, until being quickened and renewed by the Holy Spirit, he is thereby enabled to answer this call, and to embrace the grace offered and conveyed in it.

In his book Truths We Confess, R.C. Sproul expands on this section, laying out the difference between monergism and synergism. Monergistic work is done by one person alone; synergistic work is co-operative. The work of salvation in the believer's heart is a monergistic work according to the Confession. There are those, of course, who do not believe the Confession, but rather believe that the individual demonstrates some sort of co-operation; his co-operation is that final 1%.

Sproul reminds us at the end of the chapter:

We enter the house of God as people who understand that once we were dead, and now we are alive. We were blind but now we see. We had no affection in our heart for the Lord Jesus Christ, and now our heart pants for the Lord even as a deer pants for the water brooks. This is not because we pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps, but because God, in his great love and mercy that he has poured out upon us, has rescued us from the grave.

I remember distinctly the night I was converted. I had been reading the bible for the past number of weeks. I had questions. I wanted to ask the woman who gave me the bible to answer some questions, but it was only Wednesday and I would not see her until the weekend. I wandered around my house pre-occupied, wrestling with those questions. Finally, later that evening, I could not take it any longer. Questions or not, I wanted to be called one of Christ's. I bent by my bed, and in a very ineloquent prayer asked God to do to me whatever it took to make me belong to Him. I repented of my sinfulness and asked to be acceptable to Him. 

I suppose some would say I "co-operated" by praying. But who gave me the desire to pray? Who was compelling me to? I had been thinking about it for quite a while; why that night?

I know spiritually blind people. One whom I've known a very long time is very polite when we talk of spiritual things. She doesn't object, she nods her head, and she is very agreeable. But she is blind. She does not see her need, and she does not become agitated when the reality of sin is discussed. I can see in her eyes that she has no idea what I'm talking about. Perhaps her time is coming. Perhaps she will have her eyes opened somewhere down the line. For now, it is not a matter of her resisting God's grace. She simply isn't seeing or hearing it.

When I look back at what I was like before I was converted, I see my blindness. I knew there was a problem, alright, but I had no idea what it was. I needed to have my eyes opened to what the situation was. That night, twenty-nine years ago, my eyes were opened to my sin. I was blind no longer. I was compelled to believe. Those words in my bible cried out for a response in a way they had not before.

This, like Sproul says, should generate gratitude. It should squash my pride and self-sufficiency. It seems to me that believing that I had some sort of role in my own salvation interferes with real gratitude. From death to life; from blindness to sight. It was all of God.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ -- by grace you have been saved. (Eph. 2:4-5)

Thursday
Apr032014

A tale of one redeemed

Who would have imagined it? Who would have predicted that a girl who grew up in a home where the gospel was never preached, and the name of Christ was frequently used as a curse word would grow up to be a theolgoy nerd?

There was no interest in spiritual things in my childhood. For the Roman Catholic church, there was great antipathy, but no church even at Easter or Christmas. Belief seemed pretty unlikely. How could I believe upon someone I had never heard of?

Snippets here and there: attending Sunday school with a friend, hearing the creation story in a Kindergarten class, a teacher in 4th grade who said, "God loves you;" a Gideon who gave out bibles to a group of fifth graders.

And yet it was not enough.

Circumstances revealed need, revealed sin, revealed helplessness. Trials, questions, and doubts that assail most teenagers ;and still it was not enough.

I opened the pages of a burgundy leather bound bible to be confronted with my worst fear: you are not a Christian unless you have confessed Christ. 

13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? 15 And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Rom. 10:13-15)

I needed to hear. I needed the Word of God. There is no salvation outside of faith in Christ, and the only way I could understand that was the revealed Word of God. 

That was many years ago. When I was a child, there was still a greater chance that someone actually believed in God even if he didn't do much about it. It was palatable to hand out Gideon Bibles in schools; people still belived in truth and error. Today, a child can grow up in a home like mine, where God is never mentioned, but he won't ever find the end I found unless someone shares the word with him. 

It is a popular notion to assert that the church, because it holds doctrinal positions it isn't willing to abandon, is chasing away the younger generation with its conduct. If a church won't be silenced about doctrinal truth which is dificult, it is labeled intolerant and ineffective. In this day of growing secularism, it is believed that we need more compassion, more help, more understanding to attract people to the church. And that is likely true.

But we still need the Word of God. We still need people who will proclaim it boldly. We need people who will say, "I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes." We need them desperately.

There are people everywhere with great needs; physical, emotional, and financial. But their greatest need is stil salvation from sin. We can assist an individual with every benefit possible need for food and shelter, but ultimately, if he's still separated from God by his sin, he's still in trouble.

There were any number of people who were kind to me when I was a teenager, isolated, bullied, and sad; the people I babysat for, my parents' friends, teachers, my relatives. And I drank in their encouragement and felt comfort in their love and support.

But it wasn't enough.

My heart was restless until it found its rest in God.

And how did I get that? From someone who knew I needed to hear.

May we who claim compassion for those who are weak and struggling remember that the gospel still needs to be proclaimed.