I have cold. One of those knock-down-drag-out-get-the-license-number-of-the-truck-who-hit-me kind of cold. It's been a while since I was sick; probably more than two years. Thankfully, my son arrived home last weekend to remedy that fine record. It has slowed me down. Thankfully, I was able to finish this week's theology paper, and Lord willing I will finish my ethics case study for submission by Sunday at midnight. Next week is Reading Week, so I am free to be sick.
Yesterday was a do nothing day. Other than supervise the puppy, who decided it was fun to slip through the gap in the chain link fence and run into the neighbour's yard, I lay on the couch most of the day. I'm reading through the book of Romans, and it was my intent to read a number of translations. After reading in the ESV and the NSRV, I'm on to the NASB. I want to read in the NET bible next. It was nice to read in large chunks despite my runny nose and increasing pile of Kleenex on the coffee table, although it did prove to be too tempting to puppy to ignore. More running. Good news, after four weeks since my ankle fracture, I can run. A little. And inelegantly.
I saw someone re-tweet something recently. I can't remember where, but it was to the effect that studying theology all day long is never enough because God is great. I agree with that, but I have discovered (a fact about which I was cautioned as a new seminary student) that studying theology, while giving me joy, can easily lead to apathy toward personal devotions. Many years ago, when I began homeschooling, I made it my habit to rise early and read the Bible and pray. At that time, early morning offered the best opportunity for peace and quiet. Now that my chicks have flown the coop, I don't have that difficulty, and there are mornings when I have a lot of reading to do, or am preparing a paper, and it's easy to skip my Bible reading and prayer because I can put it off until later. And there are days when I forget because I've put it off.
It's easy to comfort myself that after, all, I am studying theology. Isn't that the same as Bible reading and prayer? Not really. I gain a great deal of spiritual insight from my theology class. Some of the most deep spiritual lessons have come my way through our textbook. But to sit before God, ready to communicate with him, to go before the throne of grace to pray and offer praise, is not what I'm doing when I'm studying.
As I study the relevant Scripture passages for this current unit on justification, the Holy Spirit can speak to me, and I can utter a praise to God as I see what I've been given, but a purposed time out for communion with God is more, and ought to be sought with priority. I've found myself more and more feeling pressed in the early mornings to get homework done so I can get on to other things. I need to resist that.
The study of theology has to be for more than giving one the tools to object to someone else. It has to be more than equipping someone to support her pre-suppositions. It should be an extension of our relationship with Christ. It should fortify it, strengthen it. It should make us want to commune with him more. Most of us have the time. Lately, I have found myself being sucked into the vortex of online drama. Yesterday morning, I happened to catch a whiff of a furor over an article that a certain famous Christian wrote, and I realized afterward that I'd wasted about thirty minutes on it. Thankfully, I had no pressing plans, but that cannot continue. I would have been better off sleeping.
The study is not the end. It is merely the vehicle for knowledge to come, and with knowledge comes understanding, and with understanding, gratitude and praise. That should be the goal whether we're self-educating or attending seminary.