Recently, I signed up with Goodreads. It's a great way to keep track of what books I would like to read. It's a social networking site, too, so I imagine it's a fun way to interact with other readers. I am afraid I don't use it to its full potential. I'm just not in the habit of sigining in. I do get updates to what my friends read and am able to see their reviews. I also have very few friends on Goodreads, simply because I can't juggle that many friends lists.
One thing I see is what my friends read. I'm always a little amazed at how fast others read and how much the volume that they read. I am not a fast reader, and I don't finish nearly as many books as others do. I've noticed lately that when I see how fast others read, I think, "Why can't I read that fast?" I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I simply have not finished a lot of books lately. I do read every day, though.
It continues to amaze and discourage me how easily I begin to compare myself. I know in my head it's wrong, and daily, I pray for God to give me contentment, but yet that comparison monster shows up. It's so annoying. I will be so glad one day when I shed this mortality and can stop thinking like that. It really is astounding how every little thing can become a point of comparison if we let it.
So, I'm not a speedreader. I don't need to make excuses for my slow progress. Sometimes, we have this idea that we have to perform even when in our heads, we know we don't. The internet has lots of great value, but it's one way to foster doubt, comparison, and discontent. I need to remember that my life is about living before an audience of One. God cares that I know His Word, and I'm sure He is pleased when I learn more about Him through other books. But I'm pretty sure He doesn't care if I only finish one or two books over the summer. I need to be less worried about what others are doing and more concerned about living in simple obedience.
It's been a while since I read the Envy of Eve, which talks so much about comparison. Clearly, I need to go back to my reading journal and re-visit the salient points.