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Entries in Real Life (1)

Wednesday
Mar182015

Learning not to care

Since the early part of February, there's been more than the regular amount of stress in my life. This has frustrated me, because tomorrow, I am going to my very first seminary class. I should be excited about that, but the stress of the past number of weeks has occasionally overshadowed that. I've never been great at handling stress, and it's quite humbling to realize at the seasoned age of 50 that I'm much worse than I believed.

In the midst of all of this, I found myself really not caring one bit about blogging, whether it was posting here or reading blogs. Oh, I continue to read my favourite few, the ones who've been with me for a long time. They're friends; both the blogs and the writers. But as for some of the other things going on in my social media feed, I felt a big, fat "I just couldn't care less about this." In some instances, I had the uncharitable thought, "What a silly thing to be going on and on about on social media!" I just didn't care. I found myself thinking one night that I don't care if I ever write another good blog post, or get linked by Famous Blogger, or even get a "Great post" comment on my blog again. I just wanted the stressful situation to be over with. And I want to be fully focused for the next three days as I attend seminary.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with the student I'm tutoring. After our time was done, his mother came into chat, and we had a nice visit, as we always do. She's a lovely lady. I shared with her some of the things going on, and she prayed with me. It was the balm I needed. She gave simple, sincere, loving words of prayer for me, and I left feeling refreshed. I thought, "This is the real stuff. This is the kind of thing I really care about." I had similar feelings this week when friends emailed me to ask how I'm doing, knowing that the past few weeks have been a little unruly. Unsolicited, "Hey, how are you doing?" is also the real stuff.

I'm not saying I don't care about this blog or Out of the Ordinary. But sometimes, when stress comes along, it can make me evaluate just how important some things are. Sometimes, it's okay to not care about blogging for a while. It's even okay to not care about what the latest and greatest bloggers are talking about. Sometimes, it's okay to hunker down and memorize Psalms, read the Puritans, and re-read J.I. Packer's Knowing God.

My prayer for today is that I will benefit greatly from these classes I'm about to take. I continue to pray for the removal of stressful situations. I'm praying one of my favourite Psalms:

Be still and know that I am God
I will be exalted among the nations
I will be exalted in the earth! (Ps. 46:10)